I have been on Tinder for ~24 hours and it’s safe to say that I am obsessed with it. For those who aren’t aware of what Tinder is, it is an app that is essentially what I consider a dating site. Now, dating site. I know what that sounds like. I’m not gonna lie, I’ve signed up for a couple of dating sites before, but never pursued anything. Most recently was OKcupid which I deleted a day after because I remembered that I hate people.
But this is different. How so? It’s pretty simple. It finds people in your area and shows their profiles. You swipe left or right. Left means that you’re not interested. Right can equate to a couple of things. A) That you’re interested in this individual and want to know more. B) You think this individual is hot and just want to bone. I mean, that’s how it is in real life, anyway. It’s like being at a bar and staring down the room, and eying out potential suitors. However, instead of dressing up, you can be in the comfort of your own home and creepin’ away without a care in the world. Creepers (like me) thrive on this idea haha. But seriously, this app is perfect because it creates an invisible force field, if you will, where the only people who can talk to you are people you want to talk to. When you swipe left, the profile disappears into oblivion. When you swipe right, it will also either disappear into oblivion, OR it says “you’re a match” because that other person swiped right upon viewing your profile as well. Then it sets up a chat room for you two to text and whatever happens after that is entirely up to you guys.
By the way, here is my Tinder profile. Which I have changed about ten times. Or more. Whatever.
So while I’m swiping left on all these fools, let me tell you the things that go through my mind while I do so:
- Who’s kid is that?
- Too young. Too old. Bald. Asian. NOPE.
- Wait, there’s two guys in this picture. Which one are you? Oh. Can I right swipe your friend instead?
- You’re cute, but a douche.
- Rednecks. Why do I live near so many rednecks?
- I’ve never seen so many gingers in my life.
- Black guys don’t go on Tinder, do they?
- Your dog. Can I has your dog?
- Why on earth do you have a picture with a girl? You do realize what this app is for, right?
- Your gym selfies do not amuse me.
- Your bottle service pictures do not amuse me.
- YOU do not amuse me.
- I want to give you the benefit of the doubt. Plz don’t be a creep.
- Definitely a creep.
- Oops. I accidentally swiped right. Don’t like me back, plz.
- No. No. NO. Oh god, no.
Now, this is a shallow game. Obviously, people have to be working with looks here. Some people don’t even have a bio- just a picture. I’ve gotten ten matches so far, but most of these conversations are going no where. It’s a shame because this girl’s got better things to do. The previous statement is actually a lie because I’m unemployed and my car doesn’t run, so I’m stuck at home watching tv and blogging. But that’s besides the point. Honestly, I’m just bored out of my mind and wanted to see what this app was about. Am I looking for a relationship? Hell no. But I’m in a new city and I know very few people, so their friends/family become my friends. My career is priority number one at the moment (well, after trying not to get murdered in the city), but maybe along the way, I’ll meet a guy who will make me laugh and take me to a baseball game or something. What can I say– I’m bout dat YOLO life. I’m totally kidding with that last sentence, btw. So with that, I’m just gonna go now.
P.S. The title of this blog was something I saw on some guy’s Tinder profile. I am in no way THAT creative haha.
[02/17/14 - 12:22am]